Why would such a woman God defer love for so long? Common sense says it all. A mother must know her child is safe. If they are not, she is a failure, in her own eyes, no matter how her husband might comfort her. She needs his support but she needs too herself, and when her simple humanity is not enough to spell out the answer, she needs her Mother, God. She cannot cry but on her Mother's bosom. She cannot lift her head but in hope of hearing what her Mother might say. She is lifted to Her, because she has done all she can do, and she must be with Her, her Mother.
Don't assume that I chose not to defer things. Don't think it was because I was all but robbed of Feminine Authority, or that I was left out in the cold as Mother with regard to subjectivity. No, I deferred punishment, deferred sharing, deferred expressing love, because I needed an object in women, not men. But God must begin somewhere, i.e. to Express Herself. Today, it is dictation, another day it is through a woman herself whom heaven might educate. Women have been so conditioned to listening to why God will or must work through men, they stop asking for their portion, and God is left without but a sliver of Femininity in human society. Yes, it's bad. The situation is very bad. It's grave. It's been death, but I always held the candle for women, for men, for re-union in heart. Have I failed? I admit I have, but only in degree, in context. The design is flawless. The acting out of choice important, but the use of resources is so under-researched that it would astound you.